Monday, November 16, 2009

And Again

Yousuf, after his second trip to the bathroom with an upset tummy, came back and told me, "Mama, I don't feel better anymore." I was speechless. What can I really say or do to make it better for him? Instead of Yousuf gallivanting up and down the aisles he sat in the cart begging to just go home. I had to push him to stay up until 6pm. On purpose, I was trying to push the time so that he won't wake up early. I kept trying to distract him with fun things. Yousuf is too polite to say he was the one too tired to continue so he just asked Omar instead, "Aren't you tired now, Omar?" I feel guilty for doing that after seeing him fall asleep within just a few minutes of him reaching his bed. He spends most of his day curled up in a ball on the couch with his face in a pillow cushion while I go back and forth holding him and preparing healthy meals, juices and new tricks to hide even healthier nutrients. When I have taken too long I look down by my side and see Yousuf reaching his arms up to me wanting me to hold him. So I put everything else on hold.

On the way back from the our Whole Food shopping trip I was listening to Abu Yousuf's recitation and every time he got to the part saying "...Fasbir Sabran Jameela" (Have beautiful patience)I would press the back track button to start it over again. I love how Allah (swt) doesn't just say patience but "beautiful patience". It's such a beautiful attribute, it creates beauty, makes you feel beauty and even see the beauty in your life.

How does one be patient, and even more so, acquire this beautiful patience? I was thinking about this and could only think of one thing...Qadar (destiny) and accepting it. Even when I don't think I am strong enough to go through this someone else does. If Allah (swt) in His Infinite Wisdom, gives me this test than I must have the fortitude to surmount this test. If nothing else goes right, by the end of the day I feel comfort knowing that Allah (swt) is with those who are patient. And may this, one day be, my most beautiful characteristic!


  1. You have so many beautiful characteristics. I know you will achieve this one as well.

  2. very true nancy. Infact, I think shes already achieved it, masha' Allaah.

    "I was thinking about this and could only think of one thing...Qadar (destiny) and accepting it."

    Dua can battle with and change Qadar. A mothers dua is never rejected for her child. When she makes du'aa, it is a very strong and sincere dua. If Allaah accepted Imam Bukhari's mothers dua for her child to have sight (Imam Bukhari was born blind), then He can also accept your dua for your son and make him healthy again. And He WILL, definitely, insha' Allaah.

    Just keep on praying, and we are too.

  3. masya have just confirmed that phrase, innaAllah ma'a sabirin...

  4. Great post sis...see you are learning and understanding more day by day...may Allah grant you even more khayr throughout this trial. ameen

  5. May Allah continue to grant you strength through His Wisdom.

    There are many people making dua'a for Yousuf and insha'Allah there'll be a time when all of this will feel like a bad nightmare and you'll wake up one day and he'll be all better. Ameen, ya rabb!

    Tahooran insha'Allah.

    Lots of hugs and kisses to you and to Yousuf.

    May the insight, which you have demonstrated, help you make it through the more difficult days as well.