Friday, July 3, 2009

A long night 6-22-09

We were admitted to the hospital and had our room about 9pm. Yousuf was wondering when we were going to stop torturing him and finally go home. I told him we would be sleeping in the hospital for a while. Abu Yousuf went home about 11pm with Omar and I stayed and slept next to Yousuf in his bed...well maybe only 30-40 minutes total of sleep the whole night. The whole night was blood and platelet transfusions, antibiotics and constant pricking of the fingers. Just when Yousuf would fall asleep and relax he would be woken up by some other torturous act. I cried only when he slept thinking about how I did not know how sick Yousuf was. I remember sitting in the dark hospital room all alone waiting at any moment to wake up from this nightmare...because I was sure that's all this was ..a very bad dream. I remember the nurse that night. She was very pretty with very shiny lip gloss offering her shoulder to cry on or if I had any questions at all. Of course I had a ton of questions but didn't know if they were even necessary to ask since I know this was all about to fade away by an alarm clock. The world around me didn't feel real at all. I just laid there awake repeating the words in my head, "My son has cancer."


  1. Oh Leslie, I wish I was there with you that long and difficult night. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family with all of my heart...

  2. You know I think the problem is that we have these horrible images attached to the word "cancer." But alhamdulilah yousuf will insha Allah undergo 3.5 yrs of treatment and then will be better. So its not the same as the cancer we imagine or the cancer that others we know have gone through. So maybe it will be a consolation to just think of it as a disease that has to be treated heavily for 3 yrs and then poof it'll be gone! Insha Allah. Its just like when howaida was diagnosed with diabetes. She was in the hospital for a week being stabilized. Then she had to adjust to giving herself insulin shots all the time and monitoring her food. it was very hard in the beginning, but now its so normal although she deals with its effects daily until now. Alhamdulilah Yousuf will only have to undergo this stuff for 3 years ...not forever. May ALlah make you strong in these coming months.

  3. Yes, insha'Allah and I am also looking at the benefits of this situation. It is creating a lifestyle change to a much healthier and simple one. At least 6 months of being very limmited to the outside world making us stay home more and do more beneficial activities. Eating home cooked food and not outside food. Although I COULD go through a drivethrough :) I have swicthed my focuse more on Yousuf and getting him to feel well mentally in order to handle the side effects of the chemo. alhamdulilah, many good things have already come from this.

  4. As sallam o alikum,

    I am one of the students of Sheikh Waleed (may Allah preserve him) from QMajd (Toronto). I just wanted to say that your son and your family is in our prayers. We were very saddned to hear about this tragic event. But inshallah every darkness has a light at the end, if not in this life then inshallah in the other.

    We want to send some presents and things that can make Yousuf feel better. I am just wondering what kind of things he likes.

    One of the things that I thought might make this whole thing easier on Yousuf and help him deal with it better is to make a story for him. I wanted to make him like a superhero costume (with the cape and all) and write on the back "Super Yousuf". You can make a story to let him know he is fighting evil everytime he goes to the hospital and that he is actually a superhero. I know it kinda sounds silly but I think it might help him since he is young and a boy. I really wanted to make this myself but living all the way in Toronto I don't know how soon I can get it out to you so I just thought I would share it in case you had more time on your hands to make it sooner for him. I wanted to make a comic book about "super Yousuf" but I don't know how much I trust my artistic abilities...

    sorry about my long comment. May Allah give Yousuf a fast recovery and make his complete cure a karamah for this ummah :D --- May Allah give you and Sheikh Waleed and the rest of the family ease and comfort and solice.

  5. Thank you so much. I love your idea! I know he likes the idea of a super hero since he likes that movie The Incredibles and loves to wear the pajammas he has for it. Super Yousuf...that's too cute, mashaAllah. I wouldn't know how to make something like that. I'm not that crafty plus my time is preoccupied by Yousuf, hospital trips and meds. Maybe we can come up with something together though. Thank you for your concerns, thoughts, and duas!

  6. Inshallah then I will make it ... and either send it by mail or with the students coming to Houston for ilm summit.