The past month and half has been relaxing, fun and full of meaning. I haven’t yet forgotten the 6 months of hardship. I still think about the many sick people in the hospital. Despite my rejoining the well world and returning to normal life with fun filled activities and outings, I will find myself reflecting on some of the simplest yet finest moments of our day. Watching Yousuf play and exert all his energy in running, laughing and talking brings more happiness than exhaustion.
At times I will be at the brink of my patience in dealing with both Yousuf and Omar but there will always be some memorandum in my head ushering my thoughts back to the importance of my role as a mother. I admit it’s much easier to do when juggling his menu of medications like some walk through a cafeteria line. It reminds me of how, at any moment, he could return to the hospital, there is always a chance of the worst happening. It’s easier to understand and realize that when you feel you have been through one of the top worst.
No matter the old familiarities, life will always be different now. Rummaging through my purse at a red light in search of a Kleenex, only to keep pulling out hand sanitizers, folded up papers with blood counts or even a left over oxygen mask, interferes with what used to be called normal. Every two weeks we are still waiting a couple hours in doctor’s offices anticipating the same kicking and screaming. I still fear sickness and worry with every ache, bump or prick.
I found myself a bit more relaxed around other kids and public places, since many kids like him have returned to school. I’m still unsure how strict or not strict I should be. I found a message on my phone today from Yousuf’s nurse. I thought she was calling about a prescription refill but instead instructing me to stop all of Yousuf’s medications for the week and wait to check his blood count again next Wednesday. His blood counts, yesterday, showed he is neutropenic and will need to wait to reevaluate his counts in a week. I’m back to constant temperature taking and being home bound…now there’s something familiar.